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There’s a reason you can’t leave him. It’s called trauma-bonding

I speak and teach a fair bit about the phenomenon of TRAUMA BONDING. As a life and relationship coach with a huge focus on divorce, I see this mechanism at play with my clients so very often, it is heartbreaking.

Trauma bonding occurs in unhealthy relationships where there is a cycle of abuse followed by remorse and reconciliation. The intense highs and lows actually produce an addiction to the brain chemicals of stress (cortisol and adrenaline) and reward/relief and connection (dopamine and oxytocin).

The terrible thing about trauma bonding is that it makes it difficult or even impossible to leave a toxic relationship, and it makes the recovery upon leaving such a relationship very challenging indeed.

In this episode of Mastering the Drop: A Real View of Recovery, California-based recovery coach Tricia Parido and I discuss the parallels between addiction and trauma bonding. It is SO IMPORTANT to understand that a trauma bond is an addiction, the intense feelings are not a sign of LOVE, but of a dependency on the brain chemicals produced by the traumatic relationship. This makes it easier to break free and then recover from the breakup and the relationship itself. Give a listen, this is a fascinating conversation and here is how Tricia describes it:

"Dive deep into the intricate web of Trauma Bonding and Addiction in the latest episode of "Mastering the Drop: A Real View of Recovery." Join me and my insightful guest as we unravel the profound connection between trauma bonding and addictive behaviors. In this eye-opening conversation, we explore the shared threads, the psychological intricacies, and the undeniable allure that keeps individuals tethered to the chemical responses triggered by trauma and abusive relationships."

Mastering the Drop Podcast, November 2023

Listen to Tricia Parido and I discuss the parallels between addiction and trauma-bonding

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